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In the past two days, I have had some wonderful conversations with two very interesting, strong women. Both are in relationships. One has been married seven years and thinks it’s pretty much on the skids and ending quickly. The other has been dating her beau for two months and is sure he is the one. It was such a great contrast to see those different sides, especially since I’ve been for 3 1/2 years.
I end up talking to a lot of people about their relationships; I find them fascinating, and at some point, I’ll get around to writing a book about relationships. At the moment, however, I am kind of “gathering information.” It’s funny how the best relationships seem to have one thing in common: faith. As an atheist, this really intrigues me because, you know, I don’t have that kind of faith. Although I’ve met mostly Christians who are so happy, I did meet one Jewish couple as well (and that might just be because I know more Christians than Jews). Somehow, it seems that having an outside force makes the coupling stronger. But why is that?
My Christian friend and I discussed this. I think it’s challenging for we—as the mere humans we are, with all of our flaws and selfish approaches to life—to love others unconditionally. When we have the added accountability of an outside source, it seems to keep us more focused. As she explained it, marriage was created as a connection to Jesus and how he loved God. I don’t know that I agree with that, but if believers do, then they believe there’s a greater repercussion if they screw up the relationship. Another friend calls it starting with a foundation in Christ.
So what are your experiences or thoughts on the topic? Can non-believers create a high enough level of accountability to maintain a truly happy relationship? Or can it only happen when you “start with a foundation in Christ”?