Collins Family News Thoughts and pictures from Amanda

The saying “You catch more bees with honey….” couldn’t be more true in interpersonal relationships. Kindness should be at the root of your communications and the way in which you relate to everyone—friends, lovers, and strangers alike.

Today’s dare is to complete at least one unexpected gesture of kindness toward your spouse. Patience is preventative, while kindness is proactive. When you are kind, people want to be around you; you’re more agreeable and a welcome presence. The Love Dare breaks kindness down into four base core ingredients: gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative (p. 6-7). The kind person seeks out opportunities to show love, rather than just saying it. Actions certainly do speak louder than words.

At the beginning of relationships, we put on our “game face” and go out of our way to be nice to the person we’re courting. Unfortunately, though, once the relationship is secure, we tend to take it for granted. We tell our partners what to do, we assume they will provide for us—and we forget to be thankful, ask for assistance, and help them first.

When I was a kid, my mother used to call me out on this at home. She would say, “I wish you would treat me like a stranger; you’re nice to them.” She was right. I didn’t treat her with kindness, and I saw myself doing that later in intimate relationships. “Did you take out the trash? Why haven’t you put away your dishes?” Assumptions are not kind, and they don’t do much to warm up a relationship.

As you go through today, check yourself. Are you kind to the people you encounter? Do you hold the door and say thank you? Remember that honey when in doubt; you may find yourself leaving a positive impression—AND feeling better about yourself.